Ryuk's Disciplinary Actions
by Loves-Chihuahuas
Summary: Ryuk gets fed up with Light- What does he do about it? Contains corporal punishment spanking , cats, kicking, and many other things and may cause reader to hemorrhage from their bellybutton from laughing too hard. You've been warned Multiple endings! R


**Title**: Ryuk's Disciplinary Actions

**Reason**: Ryuk doesn't get to bond enough with Light…mouhahahah!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note, nor a dark cherry forest cake…'sigh'…L drools

**Important Info:** Light's family is out of the house, and he and Ryuk are alone in his room. Is not a part of any of my deathnote fanfics, and not a continuation of L's bright, blistered….blah blah balah plan. I can't even remember the title, I'm too focused on squirrels. 8:B Oh, and this has multiple alternate endings!

**Warnings:** Contains corporal punishment (i.e., spanking), cats, kicking, and many other things and may cause reader to hemorrhage from their bellybutton from laughing too hard. You have been warned. Let the funny-bunniness begin!

_**Ryuk's Disciplinary Actions**_

_Subtitle: The brat gets his what-for_

How was it that a sniffling Light was carving apples into jack-o-lanterns for a very happy shinigami Ryuk? Let us see what transpired between them earlier that day:

"You know Ryuk," Light stated loftily while tossing a dangerously red apple into the air, only to snatch it out of a certain shinigami's reach, "I don't think you really deserve these apples."

Ryuk floated in the air three inches away from where Light sat in his computer chair, gazing hungrily at the apple. He asked in a whiny voice, "Why don't I deserve them?" He watched as the apple flew in a lazy arc from Light's right hand to his left.

Light polished the apple on his shirt, and answered, "Because."

Ryuk blinked in surprise at Light's uninformative answer, then pressed, "Because _why_, Light?"

"Because, Ryuk, you do not deserve them." Light answered easily, rolling the apple around in his hands.

The shinigami took a moment to process what Light had said then became annoyed. "You didn't answer my question at all!"

"Ofcourse I did; it was just that my answer was not what you wanted to hear." Light said with a small, mean smile. Ryuk mostly ignored Light and focused on the apple. Light would tease Ryuk once in a while, but would eventually give him apples, so Ryuk wouldn't pay much mind to the kira-brat's taunts.

But, this was the last apple in the house, and Light's mother wouldn't be grocery shopping for a couple of days, and Light- well, he was sick of spending all his money on apples.

"Whatever," Ryuk replied grumpily, "Just give me the apple already." He made tio grab the apple out of Light's hand, but the brat tossed it to his other hand.

"No, I don't think I will." Light replied with a smug look.

"I'm not kidding Light," Ryuk growled, "It has been a whole day since I've had an apple, and I can feel the twist-twisty coming on!"

Light looked up at him with mocking eyes, and said softly, "Well, I guess you'll just have to get along until my mother goes shopping- because this apple is mine."

"You wouldn't!" Ryuk exclaimed.

"Oh, but I would," Light replied with a malicious smile, "I am Kira, and I can eat an apple whenever I want. I want this apple now." Light put the apple up to his lips, and Ryuk growled.

"Light," he said in a low voice, "If you eat that apple, I will make you sorry."

"Oh, I'm sooo scared," Light mocked, giving the apple a lick.

"Don't you dare!"

Light placed his teeth delicately on the skin of the apple.

"Light, don't you do i-" CRUNCH. Light took a huge bite of the apple chewed, and swallowed. When he turned to grin cheekily at Ryuk, however, he was nowhere to be seen.

Light looked unconcernedly around for the missing shinigami, then started violently when he suddenly felt a huge hand bracing his back, undoubtedly that of Ryuk.

Before he culd complain, Ryuk's other hand was placed against Light's stomach, then-SMACK! The Shinigami pressed swiftly and painfully against Light's unsuspecting stomach causing him to –

"RALGHFLAAAARRRGGBBBBLL!!" Light spewed the contents of his stomach onto his nice clean bedroom floor.

"Hmm, I still don't see and apple here. Oh, well, just have to try again!" Ryuk laugh evilly and he forcibly made Light vomit again, expelling the rest of his stomach juices and matter.

"WAARRGGLLLBLLAAAAAHHRRGGGG!!" (There is more than one way to spell puke)

"Hm, still no apple! I wonder where it is? Perhaps you could produce an apple for me Light?" Ryuk wondered with frightening sacrcasm.

"Uhhhhhhh…oh, my, graveyboat…uhhhh…..uuurrggggghh…l-let's go to the store and get some apples, Ryuk." Light moaned, holding his aching stomach.

"Good." Ryuk smiled.

END

…………………………….

Alternate Ending Time! (Kick it Kira!)

"Oh, I'm sooo scared," Light mocked, giving the apple a lick.

"Don't you dare!"

Light placed his teeth delicately on the skin of the apple, ready to bite down, when there was a sudden violent pain between his legs.

"EEEEEEEE!" Light squeaked with a voice reminiscent of a hamster cartoon L liked to match a HQ. Light sank to the ground in the typical my-privates-just-became-injured position, and did not move from that position for nearly an hour.

"That's what you get for playing with my apple, sissy-boy," Ryuk mumbled darkly as he munched on his prize a few feet above Light, "Don't forget I didn't warn you of my skills!"

END

………………………………..

Alternate Ending 2 Time! (Spank the brat!)

Warning: spankage of a teen!

"Light, don't you do i-" CRUNCH. Light took a huge bite of the apple chewed, and swallowed. When he turned to grin cheekily at Ryuk, however, he was nowhere to be seen.

Light looked unconcernedly around for the missing shinigami, then started violently when he was hoisted into the air by the waistband of his pants.

"Wha-what is going on here?" Light yelped. He craned his neck and looked behind him, finding an infuriated Ryuk. Light suddenly remembered how scary and large a shinigami could be.

"What are you doing you idiot, put me down!" Light demanded, quickly regaining his haughty attitude.

"Not a chance, brat." Ryuk growled, flying over to Light's bed. He retracted his black wings, and sat down on the edge of the bed,placing Light over his lap so his rump stuck up in the air.

"Lemme go!" Light squaked, Ryuk's crazy shinigami strength keeping him easily in place over his bony lap.

"I am going to teach you a lesson a long time coming, mister kira." Ryuk chuckled darkly as Light started to panic slightly, squirming like a puppy(aww).

Light felt a force pull his pants and boxer-briefs down to his ankles, and he immediately screeched, "Pervert!"

"Oh, shut up, you self-absorbed child," Ryuk snorted, "I am not going to do anything inappropriate-you're just getting what you deserve." Ryuk chuckled again and announced loudly, as if he were proud to be the one who came up with the idea:

"You're getting a spanking to teach you to not be such a spoilt brat, " He whispered to in Light's ear.

Before Light had two moments to process this, Ryuk brought down his hand with awesome strength. "IEEEEAAAHHH!!" Light yelled as pain exploded across the surface of his once-white cheeks.

The pain, oh, the pain! Ryuk delivered a succession of quick, painful smacks, eliciting yelps at each blow.

"Why are you receiving this spanking, Light?" Ryuk asked, not slowing his barrage of swats.

"Aahhhh! Be-because I was stupid!" Light managed to yell in between cries of pain.

"Well, partially correct. More specific." Ryuk said with a particularly visious smack.

"Waaahhhh! I-I was mean and a brat and-and-I don't know!" Light cried, tears spurting.

"Closer. How were you a mean brat?" the tempo of spanks increased, and Light let out a sob.

"I-aaarghghhh wahh waaahhhh- I- wah- I t-taunted you a-and- waaaaahhhh!- d-didn't let you h-have app- wahhh-apples!"

"And why should you not do that to poor old Ryuk?"

"Be-because-wah- he will spank m-me-wah!"

"And?"

"H-He-waaahhh aiiihhh wah- he really-wahhhh- n-needs apples! Wahh ahah wahhh!"

"And?"

"He-he, uh, um -OUCH! Wahhh wah aahhhhh waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh-! H-he –he i-is handsome?" (hahaha!)

"Hmph. Close enough. Get up." Ryuk stopped his tirade of smacks, and waited for Light to get up off his lap.

Light shakily pushed himself off of Ryuk's lap and then stumbled and fell to the floor, eliciting a snicker from Ryuk. Looking down, Light realized that this was because his pants and underwear were pooled around his ankles. He carefully pulled them back on, and, unsure of what would happen next, stood shaking infront of Ryuk.

Ryuk was looking at light with a goofy, triumphant expression on his face that said, 'ha ha, I just spanked you!'

"Now," Ryuk said suddenly, making Light move quicky away with his hands covering his bottom, "We will go and buy apples! Unless, of course, you'd like another trip over my knee?" Ryuk stared at the human with his yellow-red eyes, and Light shook his head 'no' vehemently.

"Good."

END

………………………………………….

Alternate ending 3 time! (cat fight)

"Oh, but I would," Light replied with a malicious smile, "I am Kira, and I can eat an apple whenever I want. I want this apple now." Light put the apple up to his lips, and Ryuk growled.

"Light," he said in a low voice, "If you eat that apple, I will make you sorry."

"Oh, I'm sooo scared," Light mocked, giving the apple a lick.

"Don't you dare!"

Light placed his teeth delicately on the skin of the apple, intending to bite down, but he realized that Ryuk wasn't even in the room anymore.

He sighed and placed the apple on his desk, only freeze when he heard a strange hissing, growling, snarling noise from somewhere above him.

Light looked up, and found himself face-to-face with a 25-pound alley cat that Ryuk was holding directly above his head.

Light's pupils dilated in fear, and the snarling, rabies-infected, obese alley beast was dropped on his head.

"!!"

"MMEERRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWw!!"

Pain. So much _pain._

Ryuk snorted to himself as he watched Light struggle vainly to throw the cat off, munching on the red juicy apple that lay forgotten on the desk. "I can't wait to see him get a rabies shot in his stomach- that is, if he lives!" Ryuk cackled to himself.

END

Did like it? I'm not so sure about this one. I wanted Ryuk more involved with my stories, so this one centered around him and Light. I have trouble portraying such a weird character, hmmmm….. anyways, hope it made you chuckle!


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